


I used to run at first sight of the sun

by MercyBuckets



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Background Dealing with Trauma, Background Naomi Nagata, Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Gen, Gift Giving, Letters, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Non-Traditional Relationships, Plants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:41:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21891580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercyBuckets/pseuds/MercyBuckets
Summary: Amos gets a letter and some seeds
Relationships: Amos Burton & Praxidike Meng
Comments: 7
Kudos: 81
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	I used to run at first sight of the sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roguesgallery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguesgallery/gifts).



> Hi! I hope you enjoy this fill. I tried to hit most of the notes you mentioned, focusing on Amos' most important relationships and how he navigates them, also letter-writing!
> 
> It's set between in the 6th month gap between “Immolation” and “Delta-V” in Season 3. I think it's canon-compliant, but it's been a little while so if there's any discrepancies, please disregard :)  
> Title is from a fun. song because why not (and it was my writing soundtrack)

The letter comes when they’re refueling at Tycho Station. Amos is out picking up a spare graphene converter while Alex oversees some minor welding repairs and Holden goes out to do whatever Holden does, mope probably. 

“Amos Burton, I didn’t expect to see your ugly face,” says the pretty girl selling parts, Keela her name is. She looks fragile, with the bony arms common to Belters, but he can see a stun baton peeking out from behind a toolbox and she definitely knows how to use it. She raises her right hand, palm flat, asking a question. “ _Kepelésh_ Naomi?”

He shrugs the earth way with his shoulders. “Dunno. She’s running with your crew now.”

Keela cocks her head. “Our crew?”

He nods at the tattoo peeking out from under her collar. “OPA. It doesn’t matter. You got the converter I asked about?”

He can tell she’s uncomfortable about something, but she’s not gonna shoot him about it, so he doesn’t bother. 

“Yeah and that’s not all I got. _Mi beratna_ said we got some fancy _inya_ shit for you, came with our last shipment.”

Amos blinks. “What Inner shit?”

“ _Mi na sasa_. I look like I know _inya_ shit? I didn’t open it.” She turns to the backroom, one hand straying instinctively to the stun baton as she takes her eyes off of him, even for just a moment. “Kami, Amos Burton’s here for the converter and the _inya_ package.”

The girl in question appears after some loud banging, poking her tiny blonde head out and shoving the package into her sister’s arms before disappearing again with a huff. 

“Not personal,” says Keela unnecessarily. “She wanted to see Naomi, _sasa._ ” 

Amos shrugs again because Keela seems to expect him to do something. “Here are the credits for the converter. I owe you anything for the package.”

“Already paid for,” she says. “Just tell Naomi to stop by next time she’s around.”

“Won’t see her,” he says. He could ask Holden to tell her in between phone sex and moping, but he doesn’t want to get involved in all that, too messy. 

“Okay then,” Keela says, frowning. “ _Tenye wa diye gut._ ”

* * *

> Dear Amos, 
> 
> I’ve never sent a letter on paper before. This paper is part of a new experiment I’m testing with a woman in my new lab. It’s made from the byproduct of the processing procedure for my soy plants. The fiber is very strong, and it should be reusable. My partner hopes it will eventually be used to package foods sent to the belt but first, we need to know how it will hold up during extended deep space travel. I hope it’s okay that I included you in this experiment. I don’t know many people off-world. 
> 
> Mei is doing well. I’ve found a therapist for her and he says that she is making good progress. Children are like plants, if they survive the first shock, they are very resilient. I am the one who struggles. I have tapped into Mei’s biofeed data (not strictly legally) and it is my constant companion as I work. I know it is not healthy, but I find not even my plants can hold my attention if I don’t have that link to Mei. 
> 
> Speaking of plants, I have included some seeds in my package. I hope they will make the trip okay. They are from my personal collection, nothing so common as my beloved soybeans. The small ones are China Rose Radishes. They will grow quickly, and the taste is crisp and sharp. The large flat ones are a variety of _Cucurbita maxima,_ known as Kabocha. It is commonly used in Martian curries where the spicy sauce offsets the sweetness of the squash. Alex will know how to cook them, and I think you’ll enjoy the flavor. 
> 
> I’ve never had a friend so far from Mars before, but I hope you’ll write back. I’ve included my housing coordinates, but I won’t expect a physical letter because I know you’re too busy out there to send anything like that. I hope to get a wave from you soon.
> 
> Your friend, 
> 
> Prax

* * *

They have enough artificial soil left from Prax’s panels that Amos can plant the seeds right away. The radishes he puts in a pot from the kitchen and the squash seeds go into an empty shipping container. 

They take a short escort job that requires all of his attention. It should be a tough one, but Holden has a way of turning everything into a production or a bloodbath, or both. He doesn’t mean to, but he does, and Amos has to stay on his toes all the time. Especially now that Naomi isn’t here to slap Holden upside the head before he can do something stupid. Amos supposes _he_ could slap Holden upside the head, but it’s probably better if he doesn’t gotta keep the lines clear.

Thankfully, the only thing that goes wrong with the escort mission is that the security people flip out when someone tries to sneak their cat on the station. Holden does a lot of talking, Amos glares and pats his gun, and nothing comes of it. 

After getting all worked up for nothing, Amos has to go out and blow some steam off. He spends a full day and night on Tycho and when he gets back, tiny green leaves are sprouting from the radish pot and he decides that it’s time to answer Prax’s letter. 

“Amos, you back?”

He ignores Alex knowing that he’ll come to investigate with or without an answer. Instead, he focuses on typing up the letter to Prax on his tablet. He wonders if he should send a picture of the radishes, that seems like something Prax would like. 

“Amos, there you are-- Is that the big soup pot from the kitchen?”

“Not anymore,” Amos doesn’t bother looking up. “Now it’s a radish container.” 

Alex huffs. “Easy for you to say. I don’t see you cooking for everyone.” 

“Prax wants to know if you know how to make squash curry,” Amos says instead of rising to Alex’s bait. 

“Is that what that bin full of artificial dirt is, squash?” Alex asks. “My auntie used to make curry. I can probably figure it out. I can ask Bobbie if she can send some curry mix to Tycho for us too.” 

Amos shrugs. “Prax said it’d be good. He sent me the seeds and a letter on paper for some experiment.”

Alex whistles. “A paper letter, I don’t know if Avasarala even sends those.” 

“I’m writing back to him, not on paper.” 

“What are you saying?”

Amos shrugs. “Right now, I’m telling him about the woman from last night. She had a giant plant tattoo.” 

Alex chokes. “You’re telling him about the chick you hooked up with? He won’t get jealous or whatever?”

“We’re not like that.” 

“You’re telling me you don’t have a thing for him?”

Amos puts the tablet down. “Not like that. Sex doesn’t mean anything. Prax, _he_ means something.”

Alex looks like he’s not sure if he wants to ask something else or pretend this conversation never happened. “Whatever works, I guess. I’m going to call Bobbie now.”

“Tell her she better send the curry mix.”

“Okay.” 

“And say hello.”

“Will do.” 

* * *

> Prax, 
> 
> I’ve never gotten a letter, not on paper or a tablet. The paper is holding up well, no signs of breakdown yet. I planted the seeds. The squash plants aren’t doing anything, but the radishes have little leaves. I took a picture so you could see them. They are growing in a kitchen pot. Alex was pissy because he thinks everything in the kitchen belongs to him, but the radishes are growing well, so he can’t have it back. 
> 
> I guess I’m not the right person to talk to about what’s healthy with your head. Naomi would probably know better, but she left to go do OPA things, alone. Whatever you do so you can get up and protect Mei is okay. That’s the most important thing. 
> 
> Holden is not doing so good. Not like when he was going crazy and making all those decisions Naomi hated, but all he does is mope. He doesn’t sleep that much, and he won’t talk to me or Alex, which fine, but when he talks to Naomi it makes him worse. Now he’s talking about some sort of documentary. People want to see what we do, so they are going to live on the ship to record us for a while. I don’t like it, but Holden says it’s important, or whatever. Anyway, he needs something to take up his time or he’ll find another impossible mess to get himself into. Cameras are better than politics or protomolecule experiments. 
> 
> I met a girl on Tycho with a tree tattoo from her neck, down her back, to her ass. She said it’s a special tree, from Earth legend, called Yggdrasil. The story said that the tree held the world together. I thought you might like that story. Maybe you can tell it to Mei. 
> 
> You’re better company than Holden and Alex. They’re my crew but you’re my best friend and I like to write to you.
> 
> Amos

* * *

The radishes are ready before the squash plants come up. Alex makes some sort of salad with them to go along with their grilled protein. It’s good, fresh-tasting, even with the reconstituted protein. Prax might be onto something with these plants. 

They have to go back to Tycho before they pick up the film crew, and they’ll have a few days of downtime before they have to leave again. Amos already knows what he’s going to do before he gets there. He’s been working on a plan to surprise Prax and the next thing he needs is on Tycho. He heads straight to the market when they land, leaving Holden to wander around looking for coffee and Alex to stock up on the supplies they need. 

“I’m looking for seeds,” he tells the man at the stall Keela recommended.

The man is unimpressed. “What kind?”

“Something unusual. Something I couldn’t get on an Inner planet.”

“ _Arabidopsis thaliana_ ,” says the man. “Mouse-Ear. As close to a _belta_ plant as you’re ever gonna get. Just like us, came from the _inyalowda_ and turned into something brand new.” 

Amos hands over the credits without asking any more questions. It sounds like something Prax would like. 

By the time he gets back to the ship, he’s left a small package with Keela, had a few drinks at the bar near the shop, and won several credits hustling pool, a good evening. 

“Got a message from Avasarala earlier,” says Holden when he walks in. “She had something to tell you at the end about seeds.”

“Thanks, Cap,” Amos says. 

Holden looks uncertain, a little uncomfortable. “Hey if you’re looking for seeds, I can have my folks send some to Luna. It’d be a while before they get here but there’s a lot of seeds on a farm.” 

Amos nods. Holden loves to feel useful and Prax will definitely like Earth seeds. “Yeah sure.”

Holden leaves and Amos settles down to watch Avasarala’s message. Holden’s paused it for him, right at the right spot.  
“And I have an update on Amos’ fucking seeds,” she says when he hits play. He almost turns the volume down, but this is more like what she actually talks like. “I don’t know if you noticed the giant fucking ring in the sky that I’m dealing with. But lucky for you, I can multitask. There is a package of seeds for you in our next shipment to Tycho Station. There is also a package for Bobbie in there. I expect you to make sure it arrives safely. And for fuck’s sake keep Holden busy.” 

Amos huffs out a laugh. That woman is as lethal with words as anyone is with a gun, and she doesn’t miss a beat. He’s glad she’s on their side.

* * *

> Dear Amos, 
> 
> I’m sorry it took me so long to respond to your letter. Mei was admitted to the hospital for observation when they switched her medication. She was fine, glad for the attention even, but I was a mess. 
> 
> I told her the story about the tree holding the world together and she drew a picture of it. I don’t know if it’s weird to send you my kid’s art but I attached a photo. I also got the seeds you sent. They must have been a fortune. I’ve never seen a Belter variety of _Arabidopsis thaliana_ in person. Only in photos when I was in school. I’m growing them at home instead of in the lab because all the other botanists are going to be extremely jealous. 
> 
> You’re a good friend Amos. I know you don’t think you’re a good person, or you don’t care about it. But you’re a good friend to me. You helped me come out the other side of the mess with Mei, you get Mei home to me, and you kept me from crossing my lines. 
> 
> I’m glad to hear that the paper is holding up, my partner has moved on to the next phase of the experiment. She’s seeking funding now. I’ll let you know how it goes. 
> 
> This isn’t a very long letter, but I’ll try to write again soon. 
> 
> Your friend, 
> 
> Prax

* * *

After a short break on Tycho, they do a search-and-rescue mission, which involves ferrying civilians off of a ship that’s dead in space. It goes fine but they end up with a lot of repairs to do from carrying a large group of people who feel the need to touch everything. Amos spends most of the next three days fixing various areas, nothing too big, but it needs to get done. He’s anxiously waiting for Alex to come back with the heat lamp bulb that he ordered. One of Prax’s plant panels was damaged. 

“Alex did you get the bulb?” he asks, hearing indistinct noise in the kitchen.

Alex doesn’t answer. He’s on with Bobbie when Amos walks in and she sees him first. 

“Amos, you good?”

“Good as ever,” he says. “You send us the curry mix? Prax’s squash plants have leaves now.” 

“Picked up last time I was home, but we haven’t made it to Tycho yet. We’re due to stop sometime next week.” 

“Don’t forget,” says Amos. 

Bobbie smiles with all of her teeth. “It’s on.” 

Alex smiles indulgently at both of them. “Your bulb is in the plant room.” 

“Gotta go check on Prax’s panels and the squash,” says Amos, nodding. 

“Bye Amos,” says Bobbie. 

As he walks away, he hears her ask Alex something about Holden. He decides to worry about it later. Right now, he needs to replace that bulb and get the heat lamp running again. Then maybe he can start another letter to Prax. As he walks into the plant room, he smiles. Prax Panels, that’s a good name. 

**Author's Note:**

> Notes and Belter translations:
> 
> Kabocha squash makes great curries. This is common across Asia including Japan, Thailand, and India
> 
> Yggdrasil (many spelling variations) is a tree from Norse mythology, that holds the 9 Worlds together. Both the Prose Edda and the Poetic Edda agree that it is an ash tree. The sacred tree motif is common in Germanic mythology and folklore. Given the theme of new worlds in the Expanse, I couldn't resist including a reference. 
> 
> Arabidopsis thaliana or "Mouse-Ear Cress" was the first plant grown in space in the 80s on a Russian space station. It's a weed common in Eurasia and it's quick life cycle makes it popular for scientific study. I like to imagine that the Belter variety has completely adapted to life in space, just like the Belter's themselves.
> 
> Kepelésh - Where is  
> Mi beratna - My brother  
> Inya - Inner (Earth and Mars)  
> Mi na sasa. - I don't know  
> Tenye wa diye gut - Have a good day  
> Belta - Belter  
> Inyalowda - People from the Inner Planets


End file.
